Day 3 – Remember to be Kind to Yourself – and Others.
Well, here I go on Day 3. One of the problems that I have been experiencing lately is terrible insomnia. I haven’t been sleeping well when I drink, I haven’t been sleeping well when I don’t. I’m sure the anxiety I feel over the amount I drank the day before has a big part to play in the anxiety and busy brain that keeps me from sleeping on the not so frequent off drinking days. I’m also in my mid 40s and starting to have pretty frequent hot flashes. I believe they are part of the problem as to why I wake up so often during the night.
So when I went to bed last night with my husband (that usually doesn’t happen either because I stay up later than he does to finish whatever booze is in the house) we watched an episode of Chopped and he fell asleep next to me snoring quietly. I turned the TV off and tried to get comfortable, optimistic for a good night’s sleep. After all, it’s been two whole days since I’ve had anything to drink – I’m practically back to normal. Right? So I go through my typical wake up 4-5 times, burning up and having to throw off the covers ’til it passes and I’m freezing again and can cover up and try to go back to sleep. I’m having a really pleasant dream (which doesn’t happen often either) and I’m shaken awake at 5:15 am by my husband because I’m snoring. I can’t remember the last time I had really good REM sleep and I am pissed! Boy did I jump out of my skin telling him how awful he was for waking me up. So I got up, stomped around the house for a bit and decided to go ahead and jump in the shower. Then it occurred to me that when my still short temper wants to jump all over someone, to react with kindness and understanding is the better answer. I’ve been so caught up in being kind to myself through this very new process I need to remember to be kind to those who have put up with me and be grateful that they are still around.